and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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