There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize