I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
