so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
