I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
