Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
