if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
