Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
