So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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