like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ketchup is God's man juice
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I AM VODKA MAN
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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