I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
