i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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