listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
