I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
