Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
