I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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