There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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