tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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