literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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