toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
