Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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