why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
