I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
