Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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