Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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