Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
50% drunk capacity currently
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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