hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
