I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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