Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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