this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
