were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize