It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
