If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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