I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Shame - the story of my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
