omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
