just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
