I'm so fucking centered right now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
