just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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