This girl is more easily done than said...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Houston, we have a blender
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
