what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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