Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
