video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
