i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
