there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
