Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
