My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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