That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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