sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
