she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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