Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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