I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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