he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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