try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
