so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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