We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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